Far and wide, Vietnam is considered one of the most reserved countries in the world, somewhere behind Finland. Unlike Finland, however, the country is a lot more traditional in their ways, especially the women.
Various sources on the internet will tell you that most Vietnamese family culture is based around the woman serving the man and giving him all the attention he demands. This is somewhat true, but it’s not as clear cut as that.
This is a short guide to dispel the various myths and establish a few criteria you should rely on when dating and eventually marrying a Vietnamese woman.
Where to meet Vietnamese Women
First things first, you’re going to need to find a Vietnamese woman willing to date you and, if you’re both impressed with one another, move things to the next level. In which case, there are only two options, really.
Meeting Vietnamese Girls Online
This is the most viable option for most guys out there. There are a lot of websites dedicated to meeting women online. Some sites are made for meeting with Asian women as a whole while others prefer a specialist approach.
Aside from which, some people are just not willing to stick their necks out in the dating game and try their lucks with how that goes. Dating is a lot harder the older you grow – the pool of available spouses shrinks dramatically with every passing year. This is one of the reasons behind the popularity of mail order brides. And it just so happens Vietnam is a famous destination for the same.
While researching which sites to visit, you will, of course, need to visit ones with a lot of credibility. As it’s often said, the internet is filled with two things – cats and people that want to take your money.
That said, tracking down a legitimate site can be a lot of work. It often involves checking who the site is registered to via a whois lookup, determining if the business is legally registered to existing persons and if there exist any trace of those said persons either online or offline. If you don’t have the time for all that, be on the lookout for sites filled with women who would perfectly fit a nude lingerie catalog. Especially if those pictures look like they’ve been taken professionally without anything distinctive behind them.
One site in particular that’s been able to pass the offline checklists, including the backing of other sites with grand reviews has been wherewomenchaseyou.com. It stands out even more because all the information they offer is completely free. There are some ads on the sidebars but it’s nothing intrusive. No annoying popups or ads you can’t easily ignore. And the site seems to be going through a process of being updated regularly with current info.
They have articles on different countries but the one we are interested in here is the guide to marrying a Vietnamese woman, and it seems like a pretty good in-depth guide. I just don’t know why they bother having all those other countries. Don’t they know Vietnamese women are the best, by far?
Meeting Women Offline
When playing this card, one city stands out more than any other – Saigon, also known as Ho Chi Minh City. Considering it’s Vietnam’s capital, this is a bit obvious, but its importance as a hot-spot for meeting new people can not be overstated. It’s known for being pretty famous with tourists and all kinds of different women.
With a population of over ten million, it’s also one of the most cited places in the world for meeting up with potential hookups and girlfriends. The catch with taking all your adventures offline, however, is that you need to be able to speak the local dialect.
You may also be surprised to find out that Tinder is not only popular in Vietnam, it’s an experience that’s a lot more favorable for people from the West than locals. You’re immediately presumed to have both money and are super smart – two things which nearly everyone likes.
Making The First Move
One aspect of Asian culture that stands true for virtually all of Vietnam is that the women are very reserved. For which reason, they don’t often make the first move, no matter how drop dead gorgeous you think you are.
If you like her, you’re going to need to summon enough courage to say hi to her. Once that’s done, whatever proceeds should be a normal conversation. Even if you do want to date her, tread lightly. Don’t jump straight into your marriage proposal after knowing her for a week – that’s downright creepy.
Show her you’re sincere and not just a random Americano who wants an Asian fling. Bring flowers and some girl would really appreciate a romantic poem or just a straightforward confession.
The First Date With A Vietnamese Girl
Most of Asia consists of very conservative people. They value their honor and how their neighbors as a whole view them above all else. Among the things neighbors tend to value is chastity in women.
Once you go on a date with a Vietnamese woman. Don’t expect to hit second base on the first, at times even second try. Subsequent tries will only lead to rebuttals, too, and your chance will have flown out of the window.
Of course, this is completely relative, because, for the most part, it depends on where you met her and where she lives. If you two met at a club, then, sure, she’s very likely going to be up for a one-night stand. Otherwise, take it slow, it’s better for everyone that way. Always respect her very tight boundaries.
Enough about her, now a little bit about how to act. This part is pretty simple – be a gentleman. Little gestures like bringing her a box of chocolates or flowers will win you points every time you do it. She may not mention it, but she will definitely remember. Grooming is perhaps a bigger part of the whole story than anything else. Dress properly and look presentable.
Lastly, the politically correctness wave has never really caught on as much in Asia as it has in the rest of the world. A Vietnamese girl typically won’t offer to split the bill, so you should go in expecting to foot the whole thing. Even if she does offer to, it’s likely just out of courtesy, expecting you to decline. If she’s insistent on it, however, just split the bill and see where the rest goes from there.
Meeting Your Vietnamese Girlfriend’s Family
If all goes well, expect an invitation to dinner from her family. This means they consider you two to in a pretty serious thing and want to get to know you better. It’s pretty customary, so don’t feel too pressured to impress them.
A part of their culture that you may not be familiar with is that the eldest member of the family should be the first person to pick up their chopsticks and start eating. It shows respect. Serving food for other people before you start eating shows you are caring towards others and is usually appreciated. And, of course, learn how to greet people! If you acquaint yourself with a few words, at least, it shows you’re willing to put in effort to be with her. During which, always remember to bow as a sign of respect.
Lastly, be ready to answer a torrent of questions regarding your intention with their daughter. Questions regarding marriage, where you will live and raise you children are the most common to be hurled at you. It might be quite disconcerting, so don’t feel too uncomfortable if it happens. Try and answer their questions as truthfully as you can and they will hopefully stop at some point. Remember, getting on the parents’ good side is key.
Living With A Vietnamese Wife
Before getting into this, there’s one little detail you need to understand. It’s impossible to generalize a population of over ninety-five million into simple characteristics. So, whereas a lot of Vietnamese women may display the following characteristics, compatibility is a bigger determinant of the success of a relationship than just her being Vietnamese.
All in all, two words describe Vietnamese women better than anything – independent and caring. It’s often said that a lot of them depend on their man to do everything for them, but more and more so, this isn’t the case.
Among women who live in the cities, especially, a lot of them prefer to chase after their careers and get part-time jobs before seeking anyone out for marriage. If you’re planning on chasing out such a girl, make sure you have a lot to bring to the table, not just wads of cash.
Vietnamese Women – Red Flags and Warning Signs
Despite everything, no country is without women that want to bleed you dry of your cash or otherwise just wouldn’t make very good partners. Here are a few clues to be on the lookout for:
- Once the topic of money comes up – she needs cash for school, sick relatives or just asking about your salary, run very far away, and fast.
- Drinking way too much alcohol is an obvious no-no and spending money she doesn’t have is a one-way ticket into a spiraling black hole of debt. That’s not something you want. Ever.
- Conservative as the country is, if she’s not close with her family, it might be something worth looking a bit into. She might have a troubled past she doesn’t want anyone, especially you, looking into.